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detective_bolmes

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Merlock Bolmes

Detective Margaret “Merlock” Bolmes is a fictional character, a protagonist of unpublished mystery stories by Louigi Verona. She is a private detective, but dislikes being compared to Sherlock Holmes and employs very different methods to solve cases, namely intimidation and violence. Bolmes would routinely shove suspects on the floor, interrogate personalities of the criminal underworld and threaten people she needs information from with her famous red handle knife.

The first story about Merlock Bolmes starts like this:

The door sign said: "Detective Bolmes". Under it, in small letters, it reiterated: "It's Bolmes, not Holmes!"

Whether any of this was intended to be humorous or charming was difficult to tell. The door was ugly, made out of something that looked like cardboard, hardened by age and by flies that sat on it over the years. It was part of a corridor, the walls of which seemed to be made of a material of similar quality. Both the door and the walls shuffled slightly when a force was applied, such as people walking past them.

The corridor, in turn, was part of a building, a small and somewhat worn piece of functional architecture, the type which works, but you can't help but wonder if it was designed by an intern. Mere 5 stories tall, narrow and sandwiched between Manhattan skyscrapers, it was easy to miss. Its first floor harbored a shop that sold canaries, a bird that in this day and age only coal miners would want to buy.

Either way, on this unusually cold September morning Ms. Bolmes herself sat in front of a man, a client who has sought her services as a private detective. Arguably, the setting could not be more cliché, but we must report the truth, even if it compromises the respect that we hope to gain from the reading public.

Bolmes considers her life mission to be the reduction of “stupids”, which is a unit she came up with to measure the amount of stupidity in the world.

A really bad platformer game was made about her endeavors called The Adventures of Merlock Bolmes: THE MYSTERY AT THE CONSTRUCTION SITE.

detective_bolmes.1575984458.txt.gz · Last modified: 2019/12/10 08:27 by lverona