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-====== Worth No Penny Press ======
-**Worth No Penny Press** (abbreviated as WNP Press or WNPP) is a publishing house, known for its tabloid Cheap Newspaper and a bunch of poorly written textbooks.
-===== Cheap Newspaper =====
-Cheap Newspaper has been around since 2005. It features torturous visuals, horrendous font choices, bad English and tabloid journalism.
-Its featured stories border on insulting. For instance, the Science section of Vol. 179 featured a story about the android language:
-<file>
-The synthizator, which would be
-build into the android, produces
-only one signal, which is, of
-course, 'beep'. According to Dr.
-Bungee, the simpliest word of
-the android language is, no
-doubt, 'beep', which may mean
-something like "Hey, I'm here"
-or simply "Hello". The second
-word, "beep-beep", clearly means
-"roadrunner", also a very useful
-everyday word.
-</file>
-Another story was called "Madame la Spam" about a lady whose sole purpose in life was to advertise things. The protagonist eventually throws up, because he cannot take her evil ways.
-"Jeux d'eau" tells us a story about a person with rare brain damage:
-<file>
-Jeux d'eau
-There was this person who answered anything only with "Jeux d'eau". He wasn't French, but this phrase was the only verbal thing his brain could output. Nobody knew how it all happened. He got born that way.
-When you asked him what time it was, he would say "Jeux d'eau!".
-If you asked what his name was, he'd say "Jeux d'eau".
-In his vocabulary "Jeux d'eau" stands for 'yes', while "Jeux d'eau" clearly means 'no'.
-Other words include:
-chair="Jeux d'eau"
-orange="Jeux d'eau"
-love="Jeux d'eau"
-hate="Jeux d'eau"
-smell="Jeux d'eau"
-cane="Jeux d'eau"
-etc.
-To somehow fix this, Mr.Jeux d'eau (for he was called that way even in his passport) incorporated a strong emotional layering into his speech. "Jeux d'eau" would sometimes sound violent, sometimes gentle, sometimes simply informative.
-This method allowed Mr.Jeux d'eau to develop a special technique of making things understandable just in a couple of words. Everybody found it to be a pleasure to work with him, so Mr.Jeux d'eau soon became professionally successful.
-Ah, you want to know about his
-personal life?
-Well, his "Jeux d'eau" could be so gentle that lady Mayenette from one of the rich families of Rome agreed to marry him. They have three children, two boys and a girl, named Jeux d'eau, Jeux d'eau and Jeux d'eau respectively. Children have similar brain damage, so they can only say "Jeux d'eau".
-We predict that this breed of people will continue to grow. They will conquer the world, which is not bad at all, since sometimes we are forgetting that words are only obstacles to love. No?
-..
-Jeux d'eau!
-</file>
-Cheap Newspaper is released in "volumes". Each volume features variable number of pages. Several notable volumes were jokes, for instance volume 16:
-[{{ :wiki:cheapnewspaper16.png?nolink&400 |Cheap Newspaper Vol.16 with a single word: "donkey"}}]
-The tabloid also offered entertainment, typically in a form of obscure game and puzzles. Volume 11 features a card game "Roker". Totally unplayable, this game is unknown to this day and is actively played nowhere and by no one.
-[{{ :wiki:cheapnewspaper_roker.png?nolink&400 |An obscure card game "Roker"}}]
-In a blaze of contradiction, Cheap Newspaper is available absolutely at no cost, and "cheap" must refer to the quality of its content.
-===== Textbooks =====
-A number of low quality textbooks have been published by the WNPP.
-==== External links ====
-[[https://louigiverona.com/?page=projects&s=writings&t=cheapnewspaper|A selection of Cheap Newspaper volumes]]

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