A Coffee Which You Cannot Drink is an invention by Chen Chris Choi, an unknown hip hop artist. It is a cup with what looks like coffee, but in reality it is a goo-like lifeform which will attack you if you attempt to drink it. The attack involves extending its tentacles to push itself away from the drinkers mouth, and then, while keeping the mouth open, shooting several streams of poison straight into the throat. The attack is usually fatal for the drinker.

It appeared either in 1996 or much later. It's not clear when Choi decided not to patent the invention.

I mean, who knows.

The lifeform is the only human-engineered stable biological lifeform. Since the invention is called “A Coffee Which You Cannot Drink”, which abbreviates to ACWYCD, the lifeform got the name akwyd (pronounced as ack-wood).

Akwyds are nasty little creatures which prefer to live in concave containers, such as cups, glasses and other types of drinkware. They are, however, allergic to goblets, and can die if placed in a shoe.

Akwyds feast on graphite and reproduce by mating with pencils. The pencil comes out of the mating process quite harmed. Akwyds cannot mate with a grease pencil, because its core is made out of a special wax, not graphite. Akwyds, however, may still try to have sex with them and eventually break them.