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whatever_you_want

Whatever You Want

Depiction of “Whatever You Want” brothel by a 16th century Flemish painter

Whatever You Want is a brothel, which was initially a secret sub-division of Honest Wallets. Many internal stakeholders of the latter would use “nail clipping services” as a shorthand for the real function of the sub-division.

Time travel claims

Apart from being the focus of a slowly unfolding scandal involving top executives of Ryber and it's daughter companies, Whatever You Want is an urban mystery, since a number of medieval painters have seemingly captured the interiors and exact events, happening in the brothel, down to minute details. It is generally believed that Whatever You Want proves that time travel is a real possibility. Slow Club argues that the sub-folding of space and time continuum could also account for the effect.

Researchers are faced with a daunting task of locating the brothel across jurisdictions

The exact location of Whatever You Want brothel has not been disclosed by the press. In fact, even a non-exact location has so far been hidden from the inquisitive public eye. A number of student projects have analyzed Google Maps in an attempt to find the elusive brothel, and at least two pursuants to PhD have chosen Whatever You Want as their topic.

Stephen Hawking has famously said that “time travel finds its most acuminate testimony in the phenomenon of the brothel. Sex must be interdimensional!”

Debate

A number of skeptics have vocally criticized the quality of evidence for the time travel claims. According to them, the old paintings do not depict the Whatever You Want brothel, and are just generic paintings that provide no detail at all.
J. N. Spoilsport of Slow Club responds that since the actual brothel has not yet been found, skeptics cannot claim that the paintings do not look like the brothel.
Theoretical physicist Michio Kaku points out that this defeats Spoilsport's own argument in that “the latter himself hasn't seen the brothel and, therefore, cannot know the veracity of the comparison”.
Spoilsport then objected to the use of the pronoun “himself” and came out as a woman.

Yet another painting, depicting Whatever You Want

Skeptical Voices also points out that no firsthand accounts of the Whatever You Want establishment exist, and therefore there is little evidence to suggest that it is not a lie by Ryber executives, told to cover up their actual business dealings. Ryber executives have publicly denied this allegation.

According to WNP Press, scientific research is currently on the verge of figuring out everything about the matter. However, this statement has been made in the early 90s, which further complicates the issue, as even Ryber had not existed at that time. The conspiracy outlet "What The Fuck?" believes that this is evidence of Ryber being no more than a money laundering operation from the start.

whatever_you_want.txt · Last modified: 2024/05/15 08:52 (external edit)