How People Become Gold Miners

Louigi Verona
June 2006

There was this family of Renouk. They were all present at the mayor's ball and they were all quite well known to the mayor. Mister and missis Renouk had seven children. Missis Renouk's brother, Robert Renouk, was also present at the celebration and so were some other relatives, including parents of both of the Renouks.

The youngest Renouk daughter had returned from the University she was sent to and was the only one from the family not introduced to the mayor. When the ball started, Mr. Renouk came up to the mayor with his youngest daughter and said, "This is Marlena, my youngest daughter."

The mayor said, "Nice to meet you, Marlena. I hope you have finally returned to live in our city!"

Several minutes later Mrs. Renouk came up to the mayor with Marlena and said, "Dear mayor, this is Marlena, my youngest one."

"Oh, your husband has already introduced her to me."

"Ah, so you are acquainted! When did that happen? On the beach?"

The mayor's face went slightly red and he laughed, "Ma'am, your husband has just introduced Marlena to me. I've not met her before, of course."

"Ah, I see."

And so the ball went on, but some time later Robert Renouk came up to the mayor with Marlena and said, "Good evening, mayor, what a wonderful ball!"

"Why, thank you! I like organizing a good party from time to time."

"Indeed... Anyway, I am here to introduce to you the star of this season, Marlena, the youngest daughter of my brother."

"Oh. Well, she has already been introduced to me twice by both of her parents!"

"Bwa-ha-ha," laughed Robert heartily, his mustache shaking to the rhythm of his laughter. "Well then, I am glad you know Marlena. They say you've met her on a beach?"

"What?" the mayor's face went white. "Who told you that, Mr. Renouk?! I've met Marlena today! I have never met her before in my entire life!"

Robert made a concerned face, apologized for the misunderstanding using all the proper apologies, and retreated together with Marlena. The mayor wiped his forehead with a napkin and sighed, "What a weird family they are."

The ball went on and the mayor was already beginning to forget the affair, when one of Mr. and Mrs. Renouk's sons, Dick Renouk, approached him, Marlena arm in arm with him. "Good evening, mayor."

"Good evening, Dick. How do you do?"

"How do you do. Let me take the honor to introduce my youngest sister, Marlena, to you."

The mayor didn't smile this time. "Yes, young lady, it was a pleasure to meet you this evening for the first time in my life," he said slowly and deliberately. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other guests to attend to."

That wasn't very polite, but yet the circumstances were so odd and Dick had not yet earned that much standing in society, so the mayor decided to cut it off this way.

However, he couldn't imagine that it was only the beginning of his troubles, for several minutes later another Renouk offspring, Timothy Renouk, faced the mayor with Marlena beside him. "Dear mayor, as an honored citizen, let me take this opportunity to introduce you to my sister Marlena, whom you, they say, have not yet met."

"Yes, sir Timothy, I have not met your sister Marlena before this day. Yet, several members of your family have already introduced her to me. I wonder why she did not inform you of that fact."

At that point of conversation Timothy took the mayor by his arm and drew him aside. "Oh, she is very much embarrassed by rumors that you made love to her on the beach," he whispered earnestly into the mayor's ear. "As your close friend and colleague, I decided it was quite alright for me to warn you."

The mayor felt his heart sink and his toes become cold. "Oh, my God! That silly rumor, which of course has no grounds whatsoever, can ruin my career and reputation forever! Who started it, I wonder? That individual deserves to go to prison!"

"Yes, Your Mayorship, I agree. Insulting an official such as yourself is a serious criminal act, to be sure."

The mayor thought for a bit and then said, "Please, give life to another rumor and tell everybody that this beach stuff is a lie."

"Yes, sir."

And so the ball continued and the mayor rubbed his hands in satisfaction. Perhaps, it would turn out okay after all.

In high spirits, the mayor even danced a waltz or two and was involved in a lovely conversation with a modern philosopher, when he was called to the other side of the room. There he was approached by Anna Renouk together with Marlena.

"Ah, mayor, you look so handsome tonight."

The mayor smiled and thought to himself that perhaps these ladies asked him over just to chat, and enough with all these silly introductions. However, he was deeply, deeply wrong.

"My dear mayor," started Anna, "please meet my sister, Marlena. She came from abroad."

"Yes, yes, we are acquainted already, yes."

"Oh, she has been introduced to you by someone else, hasn't she?"

"Oh, yes!" said the mayor, happy Anna wasn't pushing that rubbish about the beach. "Your family is behaving a little bit out of the ordinary today. They've all taken turns to introduce Marlena to me."

"Ah-ha-ha, what a weird situation, is it not?"

"It is."

"Well, everybody is concerned by the rumors. They say you haven't met Marlena on the beach. They say you've met her somewhere else, maybe even in a bar."

And before the mayor could respond, both ladies swept away, leaving the mayor with his jaw dropped.

"This is getting out of hand!" he thought. "What shall I do?!"

As the mayor was thinking of stopping the ball, Mr. Renouk's father, a 90 year old man, approached the mayor and smiled at him with his charming toothless smile. Marlena was just behind him. "James!" he said to the mayor. "How's the reigning?"

"Um, thank you Mr. Renouk, it is an honor to be a mayor of this wonderful city."

"Yes, indeed."

The old man pushed Marlena in front of the mayor and said, bowing in a manner people do when presenting a horse, creaking with his every bone. "Miss Marlena Renouk, to your services. Has a diploma from abroad."

The mayor felt the skin of his face get covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. "Um. It is a pleasure, miss," he bowed in return and smiled a weary smile.

The old man looked closely at him. "Your smile looks forced. Aren't you happy to meet my granddaughter?"

"Oh, no, mister Renouk, I am very, veeeery happy. And pleased.... Honored, even! It's just that... Well, many people have taken this ball as an opportunity to introduce the girl to me."

"Well, I guess, as they knew that you were informally acquainted with her anyway, they wanted to make some official introductions. To clear things up, you know."

"What?" the mayor stared at him. "I have never had any informal acquaintance neither with Marlena, nor with anybody else! What are you talking about?"

"Well, you know what they say," the old man said, bowing respectfully, "that you two met either on the beach or in some bar, and that you even want to put her former lover into prison!"

"Bwa-ha-ha!" came a laugh from behind, and Robert Renouk joined their merry conversation. "What a silly rumor! I don't believe a single word!"

"Really?" asked the mayor, hope in his eyes.

"Of course! I am sure it was all misunderstood! How can a man of your stature date a girl on a beach or in that `Dog and Whistle` establishment? After all, you've got such a lovely yacht! What's it called? `The Romantic Night on Bajor`?"

"Oh..." The mayor felt it's becoming difficult to breathe. His eyes began to water. "Gentlemen, ladies," he said, hearing his own voice and not recognizing it. "All of this is so strange... Look, I have never met Marlena. Never! I have a wife and two children! I have never been neither on the beach nor in that `Dog and Whistle` place, and what you are saying are rumors, voicing which is simply impolite. It is especially impolite as you are in my house."

Everybody in the room went silent. Then Robert frowned and said, "If not on the beach and not in the `Dog and Whistle`, then WHERE?!"

As ideas started coming from everybody, and the noise of many people arguing filled the room, the mayor lost sense of time and space and fainted.

* * *

Several years later I met him in Alaska, sipping beer in a place called `Jar and Donkey`. He was in high spirits, though I noticed his left eye twitch every time you introduce him to new people.